Beat The Odds...

Somebody in a forum that I belong to posted some thoughts on heartbreak and suicide today and it got me thinking about how there are so many people in this world that think that their life is over the instant something bad happens. That's not true. Yes, life is hard, but it does get easier if you work at it. I know, from unfortunate personal experience, that suicide isn't the right choice.

There was a point in my life where I honestly believed that my existence was meaningless and that I would do nothing but suffer forever. So, suicidal thoughts consumed my emotions and lead me to actually try...

I took a knife, jumped into the shower and began to slit my wrist. As soon as I cut myself open and started to bleed everywhere, I immediately regreted what I had done. I was crying so hard and I was so scared that I was going to die...but I was lucky. I was too embarassed to call 911 so I just grabbed some towels and wrapped them around my wrist to hopefully prevent the bleeding. I curled up into a ball and laid in my bathtub crying all night long. Yes, I eventually fell asleep and when I woke up I was amazed that I was still alive. I didn't deserve a second chance, yet, I was lucky enough to get one.

I wrote these lyrics to hopefully send a message to people out there, who have had thoughts like myself, that it does get better. Just be patient and don't give up.

Beat The Odds

The clock is turning slow today
This moment wants to pass
No one wants to feel this way
As my saliva turns to glass

The pain is burning up inside
I don't know if I can see it through
But it's time to swallow all my pride
And do what I have to do, so I can...
Beats the odds
We can beat the odds
I think heaven left us standing here for a reason
We can beat the odds

If patience is a virtue
A poster child you are
But you think they're out to hurt you
And the sunrise seems too far away

I haven't seen you cry in a while
So I know that something's wrong
You carry on without a smile
Not knowing all along, that you can
Beat the odds
We can beat the odds
I think heaven left us standing here for a reason
We can beat the odds

I've been up and I've been down
And everywhere between
You wouldn't feel so lonely now
If you could see the things I've seen

I've been left alone before, with my sweet breath of suicide
I tried, I tried, I tried once more, I let my conscience be my guide
So I cut into what I once thought of as insignifcant man
My life began to feel like water as the blood ran through my hands

Then I caught my reflection in the bathroom mirror, and I could see that my eyes were disguised by the fear
And I knew right then that I was much too afraid, to go through with my decision but I already made it
So I threw myself against the shower door, while the blood rained down as it continued to pour
And I cried so hard, I thought I'd die that night and I couldn't believe when I survived till the morning light
I survived till the morning light
And here I am
And here I am today
And here I am today

(Breakdown)

I hope you know how important this is to me
To help you send the pain below
And now that you know my history
When you see me you should know, that we can...

Beats the odds
We can beat the odds
I think heaven left us standing here for a reason
We can beat the odds

Beats the odds
We can beat the odds
I think heaven left us standing here for a reason
We can beat the odds

We can beat the odds (repeating...)