Right now, my ex-girlfriend is overseas, doing some volunteer work for people who are in need of help. She is going to be there for a few months, until the end of the year or so. For the past few nights, I have been completely unable to sleep and it's killing me. I don't know why, but I have this resonating worry and genuine concern for her that keeps spinning loops through my head and I can't let it go. I haven't been with her for a few years, but this trip overseas that she has taken has somehow rekindled everything I felt for her, which, I thought I had let go of.
I still love her, yes, and there is nothing wrong with that, but I'm feeling extremely confused at the moment. She was the one who broke up with me, so I don't know if she is 100% over me or not, but I know that I'm not really over her. I thought I was...but I'm not.
She is the only person in my life who has actually made me cry from happiness. I remember one night, we were sitting on my living room floor watching TV and I just started crying. She looked at me and asked what was wrong and I said...
"Nothing. For the first time in my life, nothing is wrong."
I miss how that feels. Even though it will never happen, I hope I feel that way again someday.
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1 comment:
What wouldn't I give to have a lov like that. You lucky to have experienced it at least once in your lifetime Chef.
Am sure she'll come back safe and sound.
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